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Choosing life even when it’s hard

JamieJune 24, 2016 - Jamie Kwiatkowski put a hand on her swollen belly. How was she going to take care of another baby? Working two jobs while attending school barely left time for her one-year old son, let alone another baby. Conflicted, she considered her options.

After the past year of raising her son by herself, Jamie wanted to weep when she discovered she was pregnant again. She wanted to give this child the world, but knew she didn’t have the ability to do that. Contemplating her options, she decided abortion was the answer. She scheduled her appointment and began preparing for the procedure.

A few days before her appointment, Jamie walked into her son’s room. There she saw the extra crib she had set up and the stack of diapers she bought whenever she had a few extra dollars. It was then that she realized she couldn’t have an abortion. Even though she had no idea how she would care for her baby, she knew this baby deserved life. Tears fell as she begged God for help and asked for answers.

Once she made her decision, every doctor’s appointment brought her child closer to her heart. Jamie could feel this baby alive and well within her. She decided to figure out the sex of her baby and when she heard the news her heart sank. A baby girl. A dream come true, only she thought she couldn’t give her the life she deserved.

“The little girl I always wanted, that I dreamed of doing her hair and painting her nails was going to come into this world,” she said.

Jamie already struggled with her son not knowing his father. She didn’t want her baby girl to grow up with a father Jamie couldn’t trust, one intermittently in trouble with the law. Knowing that she couldn’t parent her baby girl, the only option left was adoption. She researched open adoption and found the perfect family to adopt her baby girl.

“This precious child deserved a life with a loving family, who, by reading their bio online, was everything I would want for a baby,” Jamie said.

Jamie spent the next few months meeting the family and getting acquainted. The day finally came for Jamie to give birth. Jill, the adoptive mom, was in the room when the precious, newborn baby girl took her first breath. Jamie and Jill shared exhausted, but joyful smiles.

“Thousands and thousands of families are out there waiting to adopt, with so many stories and situations,” Jamie said. “I could make a difference to them and to my child, and I did.”

Ten years later, Jamie found herself pregnant again. This time she was ready to parent her son. Walking into the hospital to deliver her baby brought back many memories and emotions. With so many feelings rushing in, Jamie kept reminding herself that everything was different now. Her support system and husband helped her through her fears and she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Even though still deals with the grief of placing her child for adoption, she knows it was the right decision.

“A child needs more than love to raise him or her,” Jamie said.

Working two jobs and attending school while caring for a young child at home wasn’t the life she wanted for her daughter. Jamie wanted the best for her and knew she couldn’t provide the life she wanted. Jamie chose to give her to a family that could offer her everything.

Jamie is still close to the family that adopted her baby and they attended her youngest son’s birthday celebration. She had dreamed of this family and is grateful for them. Jamie said other women considering adoption should reach out to someone immediately. A support system is essential to walk you through this decision and help you be strong. In times of doubt you will need someone to remind you of how strong and smart you are for choosing to give your child a better life.

“You can do it,” Jamie said. “Be someone’s hero.”

For more information about adoption, visit our pregnancy help page to find the closest adoption agency near you or call 1-800-57WOMAN.

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